New Years

Today has been pretty eventful I would say. Went and ran 3 miles with my best friend Larena Sue Rushton. Then we ran some errands and then we went to the motocross races. They are really cool just fyi. And then her wonderful father made us hamburgers on the grill :) he is a glorious man I tell you! Then we started our latest and greatest project making purses. And then I came home and watched planet earth with my dad and my brother John. They are the funniest people to watch t.v. with because they ad-lib in all this stuff into the show. Nature documentaries are probably the most humorous though. And then James and Cody came over! Cody let me try on his CTR ring it was super huge cause I just have skinny little fingers and such. I was also like well shoot because I ALWAYS look like garbage when people come over to my house. Imagine that right? Me looking like garbage such a shocker. But anyway I have a few goals for new years. I will accomplish them because I accomplished my goal from last year therefore I have to keep accomplishing them.
1. Read my scriptures with real intent
2. Get in excellent shape.
3. Run a 5k
4. Be kinder to others
5. Be more patient
I feel like five new years is a pretty manageable goal right? Also reflecting on my progress over this past year I have grown up a lot and grown much stronger in various ways and I am very proud of myself! I have however had some slip ups such as being unkind to some people (so disappointed in myself cause I totally know better)   and other regrettable things that aren't super serious but I could still improve upon! Also another thought I had that has nothing to do with new year's at all but I will share nonetheless. I am actually quite concerned I am one of those "preachy people" that everyone just goes shut up!! Every time I talk about church related matters. Because I know people like that they are the people that personally attack you and then do the same exact thing. It's lame and it makes you want to yell and holler in their face and be like "hey you big fat dumb moron shut up and leave me alone!" I really really hope I am not like that :/ I just try to share what I know to be true and be sincere I hope it doesn't rub people the wrong way. Anyway Happy New Year to all :) Love Ya!

Welcome to My Life

Basically my life consists of awesome days where great things happen like; finding spare change on the side walk, eating a peanut butter banana and honey sandwich, working out at the gym so hard I feel like I might fall over, or getting a hug from Brogan (for those of you who have never had a hug from Brogan your life pretty much sucks and that is all there is to it) and then every other day of the week I am constantly getting the shaft like; having my math teacher tell me she will open up my test online so I can make corrections and get a better grade and then she doesn't, elbowing a car door so hard trying to get out of the wretched car that I feel like you broke my arm, catching my pinky toe on the corner of the counter or couch or piano, having somebody tell me they like me and then say they aren't ready to be in a relationship and then a week later they have a girlfriend, or having leftover food that you had from the night before and its fast sunday and you finally get home from church to eat it and somebody else has eaten instead. Sometimes it's hard not to be bitter about all these stupid things and it makes me want to do something drastic like go Brittney Spears crazy and shave my head or throw raw eggs at people just to unleash my pent up rage. But I don't, I try to be a good sport and roll with the punches and whatnot. But sometimes it is honestly more than I can handle. Sometimes it's nice to just throw a good ol' fashion fit :)

Pretty Sad

I was perusing the internet the other day and I came across this poem about anorexia.

Looking good is all I want all I need
It's all that will show that I can succeed
Every bite must be controlled and small
I feel them watching, I am pinned against the wall
On the inside it doesn't show
But on the outside soon they will know
The beauty of being deathly thin
Bones sticking out under paper skin
I must defeat my will to eat
It is a thing easily beat
Workout six hours everyday
Want a cookie? I push it away
I will show them all that I can do it
They don't know how addicting it is to go through it
They think they see the pain behind my eyes
From starving myself to be a smaller size
All I can see is amazing will and strength
I only have myself to thank
No one can help or understand
That when I don't eat I am the one with the upper hand

This makes me feel sick inside for various reasons. But I feel like it shows how an anorexic person's mind operates. It's pretty serious stuff.

I Really Hope So!

I was sitting in church today and I was listening to all the great speakers and talks and lessons and such and everyone is all excited for christmas and feeling the christmas spirit coursing through their veins, although that could be the hot cocoa and cookies and candy everyone eats at this time of year lol. There definitely could be some pre-diabetes coursing through every ones veins haha I am sure that helps with the giddiness! Anyway I just feel like I havn't really had as much of the christmas spirit as I could have. And I sat in church and I was feeling all junky and like a big fat selfish jerk. So I was thinking of ways that I could let other people in my life know how much I appreciate and love them and just genuinely car about them. I always feel like I have to do these big grand things for people so they will know how much I adore them because I feel like words can never quite adequately express how much I love and appreciate the people in my life. But at the same time I can't bake cookies for everyone all the time because 1. I would be broke. And 2. Everyone would be all fat and stuff and then I would feel bad for their health lol. So I have to come up with a way to let people know how I really feel. I could go around hugging everyone like there is no tomorrow but there are some people I don't like to hug :p (sorry folks) as I sit here munching on all the food I stole from the cafeteria I just can't decide what to do. Maybe it's like that one story says Love isn't spelled S-T-U-F-F it's spelled T-I-M-E. So maybe if I could sit there and talk to all the rad people I know maybe they could feel how much I care about them by donating my time :)

Things I Miss

I miss my mom
I miss my best friend Larena
I miss my dog
I miss bananas
I miss my best friend Gabby
I miss my best friend Kelsey even though she is in the living room right now
I miss my little brother
I miss my dad
I miss my best 3 year old friend Johnathon Haderlie
I miss babysitting
I miss playing soccer with my friends
I miss my bed
I miss being warm
I miss my washer and dryer that don't cost quarters to use
I miss our christmas tree with all our mismatched crazy ornaments that were made by me and my brothers
I miss christmas music in the car
I miss driving a car
I miss summer adventures
I miss breaking into the canyons pool and hot tub
I miss feeling like everything wasn't all different and that I am all old and lame and sad :(

Holidays Should be Happy...Right?

I feel like based on what I see on facebook and just hear about in my everyday life that people are just constantly so unhappy with their lives. A lot of it is I don't have enough of this or I need more of that. I will be happy when I look this way or when I get this done or when this is over. Wow. Life is for living people lol. It's hard it sucks it makes you scream and cry and pound your fist on the table and think why? Why do these things always happen to me? I feel like finding joy in the journey is a lost art. I think we need to cherish and enjoy the little things like puppies. Puppies are awesome I want one so bad so it can run around and when i get home it will come greet me like "hey dude where ya been I have missed ya!!!" and then I will hold that fluffy little guy and we will be best friends and i will teach him to go potty outside and not chew shoes and clothes and things. It will be awesome! People often tell me I am easily entertained and excited. This is so true lol. I honestly would not want it any other way though because those little things people often look over are what add interest and flair to my otherwise very dull life. I just really feel like if people had the mindset of "hey I am gonna enjoy my freakin life today and nobody is going to stop me!!" then people wouldn't be so sour. Plus it's December the best month of the year! It is my favorite because I love giving treats to people and caroling. And having apple cider. And everything else about his joyous season. So everyone please don't be sad. Or i will come and throw some Christmas cheer right in your face :)

It's a Bit Chilly

So the world drenched cedar city with snow! Its quite beautimous cause it's just so powdery and fluffy and stuff. But my face goes numb and my hands get cold and it makes my ears hurt a little bit :p but it's ok. You know why? Because I had blueberry pancakes today in the dining hall for breakfast! Cept guess what people. There was only a total of 2 blueberry's in both of my blueberry pancakes other than that they were just kind of this blueish color but it's cool I am still grateful for them anayway :) and there was real fruit not out of a can and bananas it has been a dya of miracles. And so as I am writing this certian individuals are ragging on me to make mac and cheese. Look I will get to it in my own freakin good time here people!! Right now I want to listen to all I want for christmas is you by mariah carey and write this blog post. I hope that's ok with you people cause that's what is gonna happen k? Lol sometimes I just hate being told what to do. It's like I have only been in charge of myself and my life for 18 years now so if you think you can just boss me around you can go fall in a ditch cause it's not happening. But other days it's ok lol. Just depends on what mood I am in I guess. It also depends on how condescending the person is being too. I hate when people talk down to me. Lol but yeah it's cool whatever. Hope you all have an awesome day! I am off to kraft some mac!